you have stumbled into a corner of my world. welcome. at times it’s whimsical, quirky, and romantic, but it can also be scary, painful and confusing. the weather changes frequently.
i hesitate to call this a “blog” because of the connotations surrounding blogs: i am not fighting for a particular cause, sharing all the personal details of my life, or convincing you that my way is the right way (unless that cause is love, the details, important to me, and the way, the way of beauty).
i don’t have a 30 second elevator pitch to persuade you to buy my book, and i can’t explain myself on a resume.
really, i’m not trying to sell anything, especially not myself. on my old site, i watched with awe as the visitors increased first by hundreds, then by thousands, and one day my dad casually remarked, “in your own way you are creating a brand.”
i don’t want a brand and i don’t want to be a brand. the very word makes me think of money and idk, capitalism or something.
i buy pretty dresses, pay for haircuts, and watch advertisements on tv and that’s enough commodifying my body and mind for me.
i write to have a conversation. sometimes it’s just with myself, but sometimes people e-mail me and we begin a new relationship. most of the time when i’m writing, i picture myself writing to the soul of the world. i’ll have to think of a better way to explain that.
i don’t know what works for others, but i’m learning about what works for me.
i write to update friends and family and sometimes i write to share my heart with whoever needs it.
really, sometimes it just feels right.
i only write when i have something to say. i do not “post” regularly, so do not look here for daily inspiration. i would make a lousy journalist.
so who am i, and what do i do? i am me and i am trying to cultivate a life of peace, hope, love and beauty (for me and everyone else). i keep meeting amazing people with good hearts and stable souls, and i’m not as worried about the world as i used to be. but enough with the small talk.
what gets me out of bed in the morning?
well, there’s the obvious: friends and family and cheese and chocolate and pretty dresses and flowers and colors and water (i love water).
but what else?
for me, it’s children. my soul feels most alive when i’m loving children and letting them love me. let me be clear here, i believe even the oldest person can still be a child.
many of my closest friends are either two years old or those who—how shall i put it—honor the child within? i strongly value trust, innocence, creativity, imagination, beauty, simplicity, vulnerability, and the ability to ask why or why not.
so i guess what gets me out of bed in the morning isn’t just the babe smiling at me in the park or the toddler introducing herself to the homeless man on the street: it’s you and it’s me.
imagine a community focused on peace where everyone works together to thrive and live in harmony.
there’s no president or leader or other power hierarchy (but maybe people take turns facilitating discussion).
maybe there’s no money—just good deeds, respect and love.
there are children, and lots of them, because this place is a safe haven for kids who have no where else to go. they are included, respected and loved. their bedrooms are beautiful. and one home (especially full of children) sits close to a lake where there are rope swings and slides connecting the house to the water.
maybe the house is built out of all recycled materials. people sit on the wrap around porch watching the sun rise and set as a way to start and end the day. the kitchen is always open for anyone.
there is a school, the type many would describe as “alternative”. most of the learning is done outside, and by actually doing. maybe it’s based on Waldorf or Montessori ideas.
there are no rules for who can love who.
the community has a garden where they grow their own food.
there’s a guest house for visitors to come learn about the community’s way of life. it’s comfortable, and it gives people a chance for their souls to catch up.
guests can choose to volunteer or not. maybe this is a shared source of income for the community (i’m still working out the idea of money).
volunteers committed to working at least 6 hours a day are given free room & board in the volunteers quarters, which maybe exist as large tree houses.
imagine… this is all on an island off the coast of… okay, i won’t get carried away. but everything before that last bit is exactly what i want to do with my life. join me?
a little more of the story…
over the years i have traveled to developing communities and i have fallen in love with quite a few children without any parents. i’ve also learned that i’m happiest standing in the sun, wearing a long dress, holding babies and singing and dancing with kids.
so now i hope to be a mama for orphans, and to help create the home described above. i am just beginning to explore the possibilities of permaculture and healing practices. right now i live in maine where i am learning to be me.
P.S. I am working on editing this site. My friend Matt helped me put it up.0